Sara Jean - Sad Within - Misunderstood

Sara Jean was one of those little girls who lived with a great deal of sadness. It was not until I began really looking into pictures of her as a child that her eyes illuminated the longing for acceptance.

One of the best rules for me when working and counseling children, is to allow them to be themselves and let them express their thoughts without interruption. Many children do not feel comfortable because they see themselves being criticized for not acting like an adult.

You know the quotes we as adults use - "Act your age" when they are meaning actually - "Act like and adult".

With Sara Jean's childhood, I am not sure if she was not targeted more since she was an adopted child. Again, we as adults have a tendency to prejudge children based on the knowledge of their family life, their circumstance. So much of the time the children take on the attitudes of the parents.

Sara Jean shared with me how she had gone to spend time with her mother's family in Florida one summer. It was an interesting to her how several of her aunts lived next door to each other and then her cousins lived above a garage. The three of the homes shared a back yard and in the midst was a life size play house. These cousins always seem to look at her as if she had a big red dot on her nose or something.

One incident Sara Jean shared with me was when she was staying with one of her aunts, who some how was also the grandmother to her cousins. These folks evidently did not embrace children and they also looked at her as if she had a big red dot on her nose. Sara played alone in a big room with a toy stage coach. Because it looked like a toy that could be taken apart and put back together, she began to do so. It was a toy - she was being a child - the older aunt became outraged when she saw what Sara was doing. She was banded from the house. This incident has stayed with Sara through the years.

So many times, children are punished, made to feel "less than" because they either made an error or something happened similar to what happened to Sara. The reaction was so out of proportion to the incident.

Have you ever had someone treat you in this manner as a child? Let me know how you felt and how you handled it.

Sara Jean Broken Pieces

Sara Jean is one of those names that sounds like someone calling hogs. Who would have ever thought that her life would be so tangled from the beginning of her life.

For the first three years of Sara's life no one seems to know what was the exact facts of her life. Her mother would take her to the Department of Health and Human Services, leave her and then go back and get her within the specified time allowed.

Adoption records - at least the ones that were presented for reading left little facts about her life. Keep in mind these records had been sealed for years in order to protect someone. These documents shared the income of the adopted parents, their home.

Sara evidently rolled over at an early age and played with a stuffed dog and a tea set. It was noted that she turned the tea cup upside down, placed the saucer on top of the tea cup and then placed her stuffed dog on top of the saucier. Note worthy don't you think.

There was some notation that the father sent a letter to the social worker - whom is really unknown - to make sure his daughter is placed in a good home. The letter itself was not among the documents.

Evidently Sara turned her left foot in and it needed to be straightened. This was done after her adoption.

The final adoption papers showed she was somewhere around the age of three. Adopted by well to do upper middle class couple whom were not able to have children. Not knowing that six years later would prove differently.

During the 1940's - early 50's - adopted children were known as one of the trophies of well to do families. It was a status symbol.

Many states made sure adoptions were sealed and revelation of birth parents were kept to a minimum. Warning of keeping things private were a must for Adoptive parents did not want their children abducted out of their yards by the evil birth parents that might have changed their minds or who wanted to make a quick buck.

A child's linage was minimum an adoptive parents were given the rose colored glasses that an adoptive child was just like having their own child. No consideration was taken to biological traits, characteristics and other inherited facts.

Once Sara began to grow her traits were nothing like her adopted parents and she fast became a trophy that her mother especially wished she had never taken. Sara broke the southern belle mold so fast and eventually became totally broken herself.

For years I have taken time to not only study Sara but others. What I have found is so many allow their lives to stay within the bounds of their brokenness. Continually licking their wounds - never letting them heal.

Adoption has a whole new look these days. The realization that an adopted child has personality and traits that are definitely linage but the good news is, any personality, trait, habit, etc that is a negative can be totally revamped through a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Not joining a Church or a "group", but an all out relationship with the man Jesus Himself. The Word of God is clear - He makes us a new creature! We take on His DNA!

Stay tuned for more Paths within The Journey.

For more information about me - check out my website www.twicechosen.net.

You are welcome to leave your comments or contact me at ee@twicechosen.net to share your paths.

Welcome to Paths within The Journey

Thank you for taking time to read my blog. This blog is being written to share the paths within the journey of life of many that have come across my path. Some whom have taken my hand and led me through a better way - others plunging me into deep tangled paths that almost shortened my on journey.

This journey of life for all of us is filled with many twists and turns and changes. It is interesting to see how these paths may well be chosen by others. What we do of taking those paths or choosing another has everything to do with who we become and how our journey ends.

From the time we are conceived many of the paths within our Journey are chosen for us. and it is certainly how we travel these different paths that truly makes our Journey personal.

On December 11, 2009, I was involved in an automobile accident that could have shortened my journey, instead it changed the path of my journey. It has been a little over two years now and I see many changes to the paths I have chosen.

During the recovery period, I spend a lot of time alone. Much of that time was spent pondering over how fast our paths are altered - by others. Even though it has been said - we have control over our "destiny" and other similar statements. The truth remain that much of our life's journey is made up of the influence, the split second events caused by others.

As I continued these thoughtful reflections, I thought about the many paths that had been chosen for me and how my reactions to such, as well as the manner in which I handled these new paths.

As I begin to launch this blog, I will share with you my reflections of a young woman named Sara. The many paths that were chosen for her - how she handled them. Along the way I will look at others whom have interesting response to paths that have been chosen for them.

The paths chosen by others is only part of the stories you will find here. You will find stories of folks - Sara included of paths they chose for themselves.

You are welcomed to share your comments and even share with your path along the journey of your life.

It will be interesting to see where this blog takes us and what can be learned by the paths of others.

If you choose to e-mail me you are welcome to do so at pathswith@gmail.com.